I’ve noticed a sweeping melody of self-entitlement playing through the speakers of my generation. When I say this I’m also including myself. I have a terrible complex of thinking I do or don’t deserve things just because. Well, I’m starting to realize that’s not the case at all.
I’m 23 – by this age I thought I would have accomplished so much more than what I have. By now, I figured I would definitely have a four-year degree, traveled all 50 states plus other countries, been successful in the writing world – the list goes on and on and on.
Now, I’m not blaming not achieving any of my goals on my relationship of three years, but I am. In retrospect, now that it’s over, I held back from everything I wanted in my life. I gave up all of my hopes and dreams for another. It’s not his fault – it’s my own for giving up “ME” for “US”.
Anyhow, back to why us twenty-somethings are full of self-entitlement. Before my relationship I definitely thought the world just owed me success because I was just the best thing since sliced bread. While it’s good to have confidence, over-confidence is not good – especially when you can only talk the talk.
As I’ve watched myself grow, I’ve realized that if you want anything in life it’s not just going to fall in your lap with no effort. You do have to try. Things always came really easy to me. Getting somewhere with writing didn’t though and I think I gave up on myself before I ever gave myself a chance to succeed.
These last three years I should have spent writing anything and everything I could. I should have been happy to make minimum wage for my words. Instead I had a really awful mentality of “I’m worth more than $7.50 an hour.” While yes, I am worth more than that (can’t put a price on a life), everyone has to start on the bottom until they prove themselves.
I was fortunate enough to be blessed with a two-year degree in journalism and media writing. Unfortunately, I wasted my opportunities that I was given for the exact reasons above and also because I thought a life with a man was more important. I could kick myself for doing so and now I’m making every effort I can to try to change my past mistakes.
Now I have a real golden opportunity. I have the chance to go back to school to get that four-year degree that I’ve always wanted and pursue MY dreams. By the grace of God, I have a second chance and I will make the most of this new hope. I will take every opportunity I can. I will relish in the chances I’m given to write for free, and I will be the absolute best I can be and put all of myself into my writing.
My goal upon graduation is to get paid for what I write. After I build some experience as a paid and published writer my next goal is to make my living off of writing – seeing the world, writing what I see and sharing the beauty of life with strangers all over the world.
It’s not a matter of deserving to be a writer just because I say I’m going to be a writer . It’s about deserving to be a writer because I earned it.
So now here I am at the bottom of the totem poll. It’s a nice view for now and I plan to soak up every opportunity I can. I want to work hard for my title as a writer and make myself proud knowing I did it without expecting handouts from anyone. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that you can’t rely on anyone. If you want something you have to go and grab it and do it yourself. And that’s exactly what I’m going to do.
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