A letter to my 18 year old self

Hello misunderstood, don’t give a fuck, know it all eighteen year old self. I’m you, just six years later. I’d like to share some wisdom with you even though it’s a little too late.

You want to be a writer? Don’t give up. Write every day about anything. It doesn’t matter if people like it, let alone read it. Just write. Write for you. Wrote because you love it.
Second, stop letting people take advantage of you. You’re too good to people who don’t deserve it and nasty to the people who matter most. You know why you’re like that? You’re trying to get the wrong people to care about you and that hurts you, so you take it out on the people who do care. BIG MISTAKE! Find self love and self worth. Realize that you’re not someone’s toy. See that they only want to be around you because they get something out of you, not because they care about you. Give yourself and your love to the people who give themselves and their love to you.
Don’t worry about the number on the scale. Don’t worry about how skinny you are. Don’t obsess over the number you see. Don’t hate yourself because you’re not 90 pounds. Instead, love your nice sized boobs and love your big bubble butt and most importantly, be healthy. Your relationship with food and your weight should not be like your bad relationships with people. I know you hurt and think “maybe if I was thinner that person would care about me”. That’s bullshit. You’re beautiful the way you are will all of you quarks. Don’t let your outside appearance make you unhappy and disgusted. Stop having an unhealthy relationship with food and yourself.
You’re a vegetarian? Awesome! Don’t change that for anyone. When you do change it for the wrong reasons, come back to vegetarianism.
That concert you went to was so much fun. Don’t stop going to concerts because someone else doesn’t like that.
Keep playing f your guitar and writing music. Fuck anyone who hates that you do it. When you stop because someone doesn’t like it, you’ll want to punch yourself in the face later.
The cigarette that’s in your hand, you should put that out. Just put it out and never look back. But you won’t for another six years. Congratulations.
That Long Island iced tea you’re drinking? Dump it out. You don’t need alcohol and drugs to have a good time. Life is beautiful when you open your eyes and see it without beer goggles. Lucky for you, you’ll realize this in two years.
You want to move out and go across the country? Don’t do it. Live at home, follow mom and dad’s rules. Save money. Forget about boys. Travel. Write. Love your life.
You don’t have to be so sad. The next few years of your life are going to be hard, but once they’re over you’ll be so happy. You’ll learn many valuable life lessons that will help you enjoy every day you live. You will find someone who truly cares about you and you won’t stop worrying about the number on the scale. You will however, stop looking at the scale.
You’re life is all about learning. Take all of these 18year old experiences you’re living, and learn from them. Don’t
repeat your mistakes and don’t give up what you love for anyone.
I love you the way you are, for what you’ve been through, and where you’re going.

(Photo top from my collection. Photo on bottom taken and edited by Manuel Rojas casperdesign.net)

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