I thought life was meant to enjoy. I’m stuck in a whirlwind of disarray. I’m lost, confused, and disgusted with society, school, and work politics. Does it ever change?
At twenty-four, I’m the happiest I’ve ever been in my life. However, I’m still as lost as I was at eighteen. Maybe even more lost.
It all started when I had difficulty finding a job with my journalism degree. I didn’t want to peruse more of a degree without a job in the field, so I went to get certified as a nurses aid. I’ve worked in that profession for two years now and I must say, it’s just not for me.
With that said, you may be scratching your head wondering why I’m currently perusing nursing as my career. It’s okay, I am too. The reasons why I made that choice are a whole post for another day. Nonetheless, I find myself constantly in limbo with dropping out of the RN program at my local community college and finishing my four year degree in journalism.
Each day, I have a new solution to the questions in my head. One day I tell myself I’m sticking it out. The next day I’m hell bent on dropping out. This cycle is vicious and tormenting to my brain.
Something that has really been making my decision very clear is the song Simple Man. The line in particular that has been opening my eyes is:
“Don’t you worry. You’ll find yourself. Follow your heart and nothing else.”
My heart wants to write. My goal in life is to enjoy my days one moment at a time. My mind is just about made up to drop out of nursing school and follow my passion and my dreams.
The only problem is, is that I’m scared. I’m scared that I’ll regret the decision later if I don’t find a job writing. I’m scared of what society will paint me as to others. (I know I shouldn’t even care about that!) I’m afraid of letting myself down in the future.
I want to set up a stable future for myself, but at the same time I feel like the present is more important because the future is not guaranteed. Also, I just don’t want to be in a career that does not fulfill me.
Can anyone relate to this? Please share with me your struggles no matter what your age. It’s important to me to know I’m not alone in this and that other people are just as lost as me.
Let’s be lost together and enjoy this beautiful ride we call life.